My Most Recent Indulgence

I discovered The Oatmeal through Gizmodo a week ago. I have spent many minutes on the website enjoying The Oatmeal's humour. I highly recommend his site for a good laugh - the man writes, designs and codes everything on the website.

Enjoy

I'd Rather Spend A Chunk of My Rent On...

1. iPad.

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My most recent guilty obsession. Since I can't afford the Macbook Pro I want, you will have to give me my daily fix of all things Apple-related. You are lightweight and promise a great visual experience so I'm sold. It's a shame I'll be waiting until v2.0 comes out - I can't get with the high prices and lack of a camera. I'm hoping you don't make me feel like I'm selling out and becoming elitist.



2. Sonos Multi-Room Music System.

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Now, how many years have I wanted you? More than I'd like to count. Bang & Olufsen nearly had me sold on a substitute. Yes, it was slicker and visually sexier, but there is something about a first love that calls you back time and time again.



3. The Logitech Harmony 1100 Advanced Universal Remote.


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The idea of one touch-screen remote that controls everything remote-operated in my home is just so sexy to me. I like the fact that this remote lets you program up to 15 unique tasks that the remote sees through from beginning to finish at the touch of a button.

If you are wondering where this burst of technologically-focused consumerism came from well, we aren't going to Trinidad & Tobago Carnival 2010. Obstacles ranging from professional to emotional to family to national have arisen in the lives of all travellers. We have taken these signs at face value and decided to postpone our trip until next year.

Jaspects: Get to Know

There are serious perks to having a very musical family. Everyone is constantly giving you recommendations - be it artists, movements or genres. Most of the time, my family turn me onto seriously good artists who aren't mainstream and may never go that way. Case in point: Jaspects.

iTablet, iSlate, iPad, Whatever

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I want one and I want one bad.

However, I will only look into purchasing one if it:

• Has a built-in webcamera
  
• Has at least an 8-inch screen
  
• Has a decent graphics card
  
• Has the facility to buy apple apps
  
• Costs less than £450

Come on Mr. Jobs, impress me on Wednesday

Saver's Remorse is Real

This is one of those things that nobody tells you i.e. when you are relatively new to the debt-free game, saver's remorse will bite your behind every chance it gets.

I've been suffering from saver's remorse for a few days now. I keep thinking about all the material possessions I want and how easy it would be to get them right now. Then i think about my future and where I want to be. I think about how much those Nicholas Kirkwood's will keep me from my savings goals and derail all my plans for world domination. Then, I break out in a cold sweat.

Oh yeah, did I mention I have an overactive imagination?

I know saver's remorse is something I'll struggle with for a very long time so today, I did something I haven't done before - I looked at my earnings over working day and plotted on a calendar how many working hours I give to the things in my life. I followed the general advice given by Matt at Steadfast Finances. The steps I followed were:

1. Figure out your daily rate (divide net income by number of working days in the year).
   
2. Work out how many days you must work to pay off your commitments
   
3. Rank commitments in their order of importance e.g.: Rent, savings, utilities, food, car expenses, fun and luxuries, money not yet committed
   
4. Transfer this information onto a graph/calendar etc. (gotta have that all-important visual impact)
   
5. Realise how many days (if any) you are working without some predetermined lien on your money
   
6. Wait for the realisation to sink in

All I know is, with the cost of Kirkwood heels at this point, he doesn't warrant that much of my time.

Lady Justice Wept Today

I've been very vocal and passionate about this issue since it hit the headlines. To summarise my views, I think courts should take into account the existence of a very primordial urge in all of us to protect who we love.

The Story
Two brothers, Munir and Tokeer Hussain, beat down an escaping burglar who held their family against their will. The burglar, along with his balaclava-wearing accomplices, ambushed the Hussains upon their return from the mosque during the Muslim holy period of Ramadan, tied them up and held them hostage at knife-point. The burglars made the Hussains lie face down and threatened to kill the Hussains many times during their imprisonment. The burglars beat the older males repeatedly and forced them to crawl on their stomachs from room to room. At one point, Munir believed the burglars had killed his younger son.

These two courageous men managed to escape and run off the thieves. Upon catching up to the burglar (who has 50 previous convictions and was armed), they naturally pummelled him with a cricket bat. The bat broke in three places form the force and the escaping burglar sustained some brain damage.

Imagine, if you will, yourself as a father. Imagine being powerless to protect the people you love most in the world. Imagine being repeatedly kicked, beaten, taunted and threatened. Imagine hearing your wife and your daughter begging and pleading,s cared out of their wits and imagine hearing your sons being subjected to similar treatment. Imagine you manage to escape, thinking your youngest son has been killed. Imagine you manage to get close enough to one of those people.

Can you say you would've exercised restraint? Didn't think so.

Munir Hussain was sentenced to 30 months, commuted to a 12 month suspended sentence. Tokeer was sentenced to 39 months, commuted to 24 months. The court insists it is trying to discourage vigilantism. I think Munir's conviction should have been squashed - extreme provocation should be an absolute defence. Tokeer should have received a much shorter sentence. They are neither violent men nor vigilantes. They simply did what they had to do in the circumstances. Burglars should prepare themselves for any eventuality when they decide to invade someone's home and rob them of their sense of security.

Meet Peter Backus

Peter Backus is a fourth year Ph.D candidate at the University of Warwick. Peter took a novel approach to solving a problem. He chose to apply Drake's Equation for estimating the existence of intelligent life in the galaxy to his problem. What's his problem you ask? It's the number of London females with whom he "might possibly have a wonderful relationship".

Peter wants to find someone, a girlfriend to be specific. Instead of puting himself out there on the socializing scene, (which is what most of us in his predicament would do) Peter decided to assess his chances at happiness in a relationship mathematically before he did anything else.

He considered the rate of UK population growth, how many women there were and how many women lived in London. I guess those were his "predetermined" factors. Then he plugged in fluid variables: an age group of 24 to 34, a university degree and physical attractiveness to him. This reduced his pool to 10,510 Londoners.

What was the final all-important number you ask?
Twenty-six. Yep, 26.

Even faced with that bleak conclusion, the man remained optimistic - for perspective, he states that is 100 times more than the chances of finding intelligent life, capable of communicating with us, in the galaxy.
Read Peter's full analysis (funny as heck too) here.

5 Year Plans (and other musings)

I embarked on my current 5 Year Plan in 2008 when I was finishing law school. My plan encompasses the big goals I aim to achieve in that time period, broken down into categories (personal, professional, financial and spiritual) with timelines and asociated task-specific action plans. I set out all the things I wanted to achieve by 2013, the most important (to me) of which was to be back in Ghana permanently. Some of my stages are event-dependent and require me to build on other achievements and others can be pursued independently.

I have it all written down in an Excel workbook. I refer to it often, as sometimes I make additional notes, cross of redundant / irrelevant bits and modify accordingly. I recently crossed off one of the points – becoming debt-free and I have nearly attained other milestones in the personal and spiritual categories. Certain things are taking longer than I envisaged to come together, but I'm still upbeat about the overall progress.

A friend was expressing dissatisfaction with where her life was – she earns a good wage as an investment banker, but she doesn't feel that is her calling. She often says the work is "repetitive, mind-numbing and soulless". I always thought she said that so people wouldn't dwell on her work. I asked her what her short-term plans were and I got no response.

So, I tried a different tact; I asked where she saw herself in the next three years. Same inconclusive stalling; "you know, happy and fulfilled" was the best I got. I tried to tell her (without sounding judgemental) that in order to figure out where she wanted to go, she needed to decide which direction she wanted to go in. She was appreciative and reminded me that I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in our secondary school class. It amazes me whenever people think I have it together because, truth be told, I am struggling very hard to make it onto the path I want to be on. All the planning in the world will mean naught if I can't get where I want to and I told her that. We left with a bit of insight into each other's struggles. I am reminded that, despite what it might look like, everyone is fighting their own battles.

So, on days when I have to reassess my timeline because getting back into the training contract saddle is taking longer than I ever imagined, I shall try and think of all the things that are going right and be happy about where I am.

The Importance of Minding Your Own Business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all of the patients were outside shouting "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Somebody poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting "14...14...14..."

I nearly choked on my morning coffee when I read this e-mail.

Sell Yourself Effectively

I am African, stereotypically so inasmuch as I rarely get anywhere on time and I don't play about my money. That being said, I am rolling out my main point of action for 2010. It is to learn how to sell myself effectively. I'm taking time to practice skills that will take me far. These skills are:

Communication - listening and responding in an appropriate manner.
Commitment - setting goals, monitoring progress and achieving them.
Personableness - having a pleasant disposition and bouncing back from curveballs.
Knowledge - gaining a broad understanding of a lot of things.
Market Research - find out what my skills are worth in the real world and understand the supply and demand elements.

I underestimate the importance of self-marketing. Clearly, that is what will get me to the next level so I intend to take it very seriously from now on. I want to make that "mission statement" at job interviews a true reflection of my life - so true that I don't have to learn it the night before an interview and it doesn't appear rehearsed.

So, I'm getting fanatical about myself. Try it, I hear it works.

Dumb Ish

a.k.a. why nobody has my work e-mail address.

Just before Christmas, a friend (as a joke they say) sent an e-mail with derogatory comments about an individual we all know to a lot of people in the social circle. I was a recepient of said e-mail. It came into my personal e-mail account and it didn't amuse me, so I deleted it. One of the recepients responded very promptly with a few more jibes along the same vein. This was from her work address.

It seems, over the festive season, ol' girl received a letter and a box from the organisation she works for. The letter gave her payment in lieu of notice and the box contained all her personal possessions stored at work. Guess what? IT picked this e-mail up in a "routine audit".

The organisation she works for has a zero tolerance policy on bullying and harassment. They pride themselves on being culturally sensitive and apparently ol' girl "demonstrated by the actions mentioned above" that she didn't "embody the company values". So she called me to discuss her rights as an employmee. I gave her my opinion and tried not to chastise. Basically, she effed up. Now, she wants to cut the person who sent the e-mail and is losing her mind over this unexpected bump in her professional career.

Nothing says Happy New Year like having to join the queue for Job Seeker's Allowance. Let's do things right this year - no dumb ish like this please. These companies will drop you for looking at somebody funny - we aren't high up enough to have any clout.

New Year, New Resolutions

This year, I plan on achieving a balance between speaking my mind and letting people walk all over me. I have been very moderated about certain things that happened last year. Things that would’ve usually made me shout, and unleash my unkind tongue have seen me be measured and rational. Sometimes, I’ve become a right pushover – which is a step too far I admit. The evidence:

Example 1
The alternative to how the JK Fiasco played out could have been:
The immature me shouting at JK. The immature me calling him a liar.
The immature me saying some things that would’ve cut deep. The immature me letting that affect our friendship.


Example 2
Everytime Spoiled and/or Young'un (my intelligent, but sometimes inappropriate colleagues) act(s) out, the immature me could hit them over the head with something or give them a verbal lashing.


Example 3
You meet a man on a night out through mutual friends. He starts talking to you. You find out he is intelligent and sweet. You are engaged in conversation – all is going well.

You leave early due to pre-existing commitments. He runs after you and asks for your phone number. You give it – game recognise game. Two months, five dates, numerous phone conversations / texts/ e-mails later, he calls you up near midnight. Says he needs your opinion.

His opening line: "my girlfriend..."

The mature you says, "excuse me? Your girlfriend??? [thinking: WTF?]"

He says "Yes" and, without an explanation as to why her existence has been a secret, continues with his story.

The mature me listens, gives an unbiased opinion and hangs up.
The mature me makes a mental note never to e-mail/text/phone again.
The immature me would've asked why he ran after you and asked for your number when he had a girlfriend
The immature me would've asked if his girlfriend knew he texted you about 10 times a day
The immature me would've called him disrespectful and informed him that you didn't need another friend, especially one who had questionable standards.